Storms

You know how it is when you wake up and find yourself being bombarded with life's realities and miseries? 

Ask me about it, I know how it is.

I wake up and everything seemed like dark clouds of worries, lightnings of fear and roaring thunders of loneliness. I felt like I need to run, but to which direction I even fear. So with all my remaining strength I try to face the forming storm, alone.  Without any raincoats, umbrellas, rain boots, I stand and walk down the dark road, and hear shouts around me "you will never make it! you are alone!". With this taunting and haunting of a forming storm, deafening my heart and soul's ears, there is yet Someone holding me, calming me and pulling me close to His heart, telling me, "Be still, I am for you. Here's my umbrella, take it and hold my hand. Put on this raincoat, you may get wet but I don't want you to be drenched. Here are the boots, the water may get deep, but we will walk through it. We will go through this together. We will walk down the road until you reach your destiny. This storm shall come to pass."

Storms in our lives are inevitable. Clouds form, strong winds stir, thunders roar, lightning strikes... But in these storms, we can take refuge. In these storms, there is that Someone who wants to hold us close to His heart and let us know, "my Child, I have been through this same storm, even worse than this..i know how it is and you don't have to go through this alone. This storm, not even this storm can separate you from my love."

Romans 8:35-39 NKJV

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?  Shall  tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written:  For Your sake we are killed all day long;  We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. "

When we see storms coming our way, we need not panic. The storm may taunt you, but we don't have to let it drench us. Everything is a choice, we may choose to fear, or we may choose to trust He who has been through it and remain in His love.

Psalm 112:7 NKJV

"He will not be afraid of evil tidings; His heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. "

Find refuge in God's presence, find strength in His word .

Psalm 23:3-4 NKJV

"He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His names sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You  are  with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. "

He knows what we are going through, and He is right there with us as we walk through these valleys, these storms.

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Faith of the Four Friends

When I was at the lowest point of my life, almost losing  my daughter to a disease we never thought she had, I also almost  lost all hope and faith if not for my faithful friends.  Faithful not just to me, but to the Almighty Living God. They pushed me and brought me back to the feet of Jesus because they know it was only Him who could bring me up to my feet again. They knew who could help me, they knew their

words and encouragement would be but temporary "help", they knew who I really needed at that time.

I was paralyzed then,   paralyzed by fear, helplessness, doubt. Confused, fearing my cries would not be heard, fearing this paralysis would be of me until the end, These friends of mine made every effort to

bring me back, bring me back to the feet of my Creator, whom they know can reverse everything, whom they know has a promise in store for me, my kids, my husband, my whole family.

   

      Just like the story of the four friends who made every effort to bring their paralyzed friend to the feet of Jesus by climbing up the roof (since the house where Jesus was was  full already) and cutting a hole just so they can lower him down, my friends did the same. They climbed the roof for me and made a hole for me to be lowered down exactly where Jesus was. They did not mind what others would say about what they did, they did not mind what others would say about what they believed in, they did not mind about what others would say about their faith. And because of their faith, I was forgiven  for my lack of faith and healed of my paralysis. Because of their faith, many, not just me, were amazed. 

   

      And i am grateful. I am grateful for these friends whom I have who helped me. In prayers and in deeds. In their walk and their talk, I am truly blessed. 

   

written: 27 April 2012 0930

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An Unfinished Symphony

A lot of times when people ask me how I got to know Christ, I pause for a while and think... And ask myself too " yeah, how did I become a Christian?"

You see, I grew up in a Christian family. I have a papa as a pastor and a grandpa as a pastor too. Basically, I knew Christ "from the beginning". Just plain knowledge. I know the word faith, I know the word salvation, I know the word cross, I know the word sin. I know. But was not a believer in my heart.

I religiously attended sunday school and church camps. I memorized the scripture. I joined various ministries. Even led Bible studies and all that! I boasted of myself. I boasted of the ministries I handled. I boasted of what I can do. I boasted of my good works and efforts.

Maybe just like Paul, I was one of those Pharisees who thought they knew the way, but were actually stumbling on it.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith -and this not from yourselves, it is a gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

I knew them in my mind, but I was stumbling because of immoralities. Because of an unbelieving heart. Because although I know that God is loving and forgiving, I used it as an excuse not to think that He too is Holy and Just.

"But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do. For it is written: 'Be holy for I am holy.' " 2 Peter 1:15-16

I thought then I could earn His approval. I thought then that my words and actions on Sundays would compensate for the sins I commit the rest of the week. I worked my salvation out on my own with all effort only to find myself empty, lacking, and still sinful.

I used to be that woman who would say "Lord, Lord" but never really obeyed. I would just go on with my sinful life. Mine was not a godly sorrow which led to repentance. Mine was a worldly sorrow, a vicious cycle, a miserable life seeking fulfillment in worldly things (which I thought would do)  which actually could have ended my life.

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23

"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death." 2 Corinthians 7:10

So how did I become a Christian? I remember how a friend shared to me in a very simple- yet- full- of-impact-illustration of what grace meant. I knew what grace is, yes, an undeserved  gift, but what it really IS, I can not accept when all I really needed was to accept it just as it is. I did not accept before, because I was too proud. I did not accept the undeserved gift, because I thought then that I have to earn it (you know how it is as a kid that you know you have to do good in school because you will get a reward?). I did not accept that GRACE, because I believed in the lie that I really do not deserve it. It wasn't really about me. Christianity is never about the self. It is about my relationship with Jesus Christ.  

My friend shared it to me  this way: "it is like meeting a good old friend whom you haven't seen for a long time and wanted to give you a gift . Your friend brought you to a very nice place and upon bidding goodbye handed you a key for a Mercedes Benz which He wants you to take and drive home. Because you haven't seen each other for a long time, you refused the gift and thought it as a joke. And believing and muttering to yourself  that it was just a big joke, you took the bus home laughing and thinking what a crazy joke that was,  leaving your friend hurt for your rejection. After a few days, you find out that one of your common friends got  exactly the same car. You asked your common friend where he got it from, and simply told you 'Oh, this was the same car He wanted to give you'..."

That is grace my friend. That was what I learned and finally accepted. I thought to myself, "how long have I been rejecting that gift I know I don't deserve but He wants to give me? How long have I been hurting Him for trying to take the bus all the time when He wants me to take the luxury car and drive with Him?"

Grace is God's love for me. Grace is God's love for you. I do not deserve His love, but He loves me anyway. I do not deserve to be forgiven, but He gave up His Son to blot out my sins. 

"For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish, but will have everlasting life" John 3:16

And by His grace I am driving on with Jesus on the wheel.  By His grace I am living on as a new creation. And yes, the song we are playing on the background is His song for me, still an unfinished symphony until we reach our destination in eternity.

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